Madness

As they say at the Casino "and the Lady gets paid"

2009-03-13T22:09:00.000-04:00

So certain someones (read:APOM) are all in a tizzy ..
because when this is thru, they'll be all dizzy ..
from writing those checks made out to Madness ..
..Badness..

NEW READERS STOP HERE

2009-02-05T23:10:00.002-05:00

The MadLands are closed. This blog is no more ... anything written prior to this post is of another time and universe and makes no sense anymore.
So just return from where you came and dont bother coming back ... there wont be anymore mindless mouth vomit around here from this point forward.

Peace ya'll.

Where Typhoid Suzie is actually Lotus Carroll

2008-09-03T20:14:00.011-04:00

Madness has been M.I.A. for holy shit three and a half days. Raise your hand if you ever fell in love with Michael J Fox drivin a Delorian? SideNote: What was so hot about MichaelJFox again?
Theres been some serious Back to the Future shit goin on around the MadLands. Not just Back to the Future shit .. but some BadJuJu shit and a little of that DontComeNearMeTyphoidSuzie shit too, where TyphoidSuzie is actually Lotus Carroll and oh yes I did just call your bitch ass out like that because yes bitch .. your computer sickness has spread over to here and yeah, Madness was all 'get the hell out' about it too!
You see Internet, just last week Lotus .. a week ago SUNDAY to be exact, Lotus was blog blog bloggin away and blam-oh her PC was toast. She ended up having to pimp herself out to the Techies. If youre at all familiar with her ordeal then you probably recall that Madness was all cracked up over Lotus' promise to touch the Techis no-no spot and she wouldnt let it rest.
Cause of Lotus' PC Death: Fried out Power Source.
So last week while the fate of everything that is Sarcastic Mom hung in the balance, Lotus didnt let her adoring readers down. She still managed to come to us using an old cast away computer that had long seen its last day.
Well, Internet. Guess the Fuck What! This past Sunday night .. Madness computer died.
Cause of Death: Fried out Power Source. Get the fuck out!
Indeed.
So right now, Madness is coming to you Internet .. on a CastAway computer that has long seen its last day. (Ok not *totally* but MaxX did have to perform emergency surgery in order to get it up and running). Oh .. and as far as Madness having to promise to touch HER Techies no-no spot .. well, Madness is a lucky girl .. she married her Techie .. so it's all aces on that tip.
Moving right along ...
Shit has been all Back To The Future these last few days as Madness was forced to relive what life was like before the Internet. No freakin joke. Cause not ONLY did Madness' home PC tank .. the bosses at the job decided that the finger shaking at last weeks meeting hadnt quite got the point across on the No Internet At Work subject so they took that a step further. Where a step further was SHUTTING OUR SHIT OFF.
Fuck yes they did.
And is Madness cussing a whole lot more these days?
So Madness has had zero internet,nada, nothin, she had nothin .. for three and a half days. Hello 1994.

why Madness has changed her jammies TWICE in less than 30 minutes

2008-09-03T18:00:00.000-04:00

All Im sayin is .. click THIS and read it. Now.

Then click THIS and read that. Then. Later. Which would then be now.

You can thank me later. Then. Now. Later. WhenEVER.

Good Shit

2008-08-31T13:54:00.003-04:00

Clean Kitchen
Dishwasher noise
Folded Laundry
The sound of the vacuum being run in MY SONS ROOM .. BY MY SON (that theres enough to make certain parts tingle, no?)
Wet towels drying on the fence
Wrinkly fingered kids with blue lips fresh out of the pool
Easy like Sunday Mornin
Blue Skies
Warm Sun
TOMORROW IS STILL A HOLIDAY
Shit gets no better than this.

Tits List

2008-08-29T06:38:00.004-04:00

So if my READER has been paying attention ... READER will notice that Madness has added some new blogs to the blogroll. And we aint talkin plain old blogs here people .. oh no .. Madness has added blogs that are THA SHIT. One of Madness fav fav fav blogs at the moment is Undomestic Diva and Madness feels STOOPID linking to her site because 99% of Madness hits today will come FROM her site but a girls gotta link where a girls gotta link.

blah blah blah **Madness is cutting straight to the proverbial chase for 2 reasons .. shes gonna be late for work and she's gotta shit** (youre welcome)

Tits List

~Nirvana Smells Like Teen Spirit and the INTERNET and CD Burner that allows me to indulge.
~Weather resembling Warm Water with a sprinkle of Chlorine
~New Blogs
~Undomestic Diva because she refers to her husband as Candy Ass and that cracks the shit outta Madness
~Craving Silence because she hearts me
~The Blogess because she makes beverages come out of my nose.
~Bossy because she IS the Boss.
~The kids new pool.
~Health
~My new house
~My dishwasher who is my new BFF
~My husband who has yet to leave me.

Oh OH OH Madness will have to resume later .. DOOTY CALLS

Tag Madness is IT

2008-08-28T23:32:00.006-04:00

So .. this stupid hussy tagged me for this fucking meme. Madness had no idea what a MEME was until now. (ok ok .. still dont really know totally .. is it MEME because its all about MEME??)

Today Madness had to sit thru a "huddle" at work .. ya'll might know this kind of thing to be a meeting but where Madness works they call it a "huddle". Right. Ok. Todays huddle was of the "You've all been very naughty and we're going to warn you one last time before we axe your asses" sort.

We covered dress code, cell phone usage, Internet usage .. even sunglasses. Yes, Internet .. we were scolded for wearing sunglasses atop our heads upon entering the building. But I digress. We covered Internet usage... and Madness felt her bosses (plural) laser beam eyes slicing and dicing Madness ass into a bazillion pieces. Because yes, Madness is guilty of excessive Internet usage. Guilty.

Madness knows that bosses dont like excuses so she jotted notes on her Huddle Minutes paper such as "Guilty" and "Stop it" and "NO MORE INTERNET BEFORE YOU GET YOUR ASS DOOCED IDIOT" and shit like that. All the while wanting to shout out "checking blogs and email in between {what i do at the job .. detail withheld because its too much work to splain what i do} is what keeps me GOING!! Its the JOLT OF LIFE I NEED people!!"
And what the hell was Madness saying?

Oh .. Madness got tagged... for a meme.

8 Life Goals

Live long life.

Live long happy life.

Live long happy life full of love.

Live long happy life full of love and laughter.

Live long happy life full of love and laughter with MaxX watching children grow.

Live long happy life full of love and laughter with MaxX watching children grow and make their own long happy lives full of love and laughter.

Easy like Sunday Morning.

See this through.

You see .. when it comes to matters of Madness .. Madness gets vague .. thats just how I roll.
Madness bets that'll teach that stupid hussy not to tag Madness again. Or will it?

Ok Ok .. here goes .. for reals this time.
~Raise kind gentle children.

~Regain the unbreakable bond that IS MaxX and Me.

~Renew my vow to love, honor and obey the only person who has refused to give up on me .. who has never allowed me to lay down and die no matter how hard Ive tried.

~Figure out what I really want to be when I grow up .. then go back to College and knock that shit out.

~Forgive.

~Be forgiven.

~Trust.

~Be trusted.

Love,
Madness

I can has Readers?

2008-08-27T13:42:00.003-04:00

Madness blog stats are finally showing improvement since moving from WordPress.

Madness is even getting readers back again.

*sigh* now if only all these lurking lovers would leave a bitch a comment ...

*to those lurking lovers who are leaving a bitch a comment .. madness hearts you*

where Madness becomes HATED around the office with a single click of the mouse

2008-08-26T15:06:00.003-04:00

Today Madness sent an email to all of her co-workers .. it went a little something like this.

"867 5309
You can thank me later. "

Madness is loathed at the moment .. and she cares not.

Welcome to this edition of "This cant possibly be happening .. again"

2008-08-26T10:17:00.002-04:00

Thats right folks .. Madness is at a loss for a worthwhile post because Madness is teetering on the edge of yet another ManicMeltDown.

Envy me ... you know you do.

Please stay tuned while Madness scrapes together bail money.

SneakPeek ~ MaxX and Madness ~ The Weekend Edition

2008-08-24T22:48:00.002-04:00

Madness: "I bought the kids a pool .. $99 pool on sale for $30"
(because yes, world, its kinda late in the season to be putting up a pool .. but MaxX, Madness and the babies moved at the end of July .. so putting up a pool at the beginning of the season would have been stupid. So just shut the fuck up with all that "kinda late dontcha think" shit, k?)

MaxX: "A pool? Isnt it kinda late in the season for a pool?"

Madness: "Shut the fuck up."

~*~hours later .. MaxX is running errands .. Madness has informed him that she will set up the pool while he is gone and wont MaxX he oh so proud of her when he gets home and she has set up the pool all.by.herself.~*~

16 minutes after MaxX leaves the house .. his cell phone rings .. its his Madness.

Madness: "I dont know how to do this daddy"

MaxX: "I KNOW. "

And so it was that MaxX and his buddy got to stand around and talk MadShit about his wife .. who thought she was tha'shit who could put a kiddie pool together all by herself.

And when Madness found out that MaxX and his buddy laughed and laughed at her expense .. MaxX didnt get laid for days. The End.

I kid. I kid.
You see, Internet. Madness could have put that kiddie pool together all by herself. (not really, shhh) But she chose not to because then how would she get to watch MaxX do manly things in the sweltering summer heat? And that MaxX was doing manly things in the sweltering summer heat and he was doing them for his wife and babies .. irresistibly sexy. Oh. Hell. Yes.

Babies falling from the sky .. or out of vaginas .. or whatever .. and a BitchSlap thrown in for good measure

2008-08-24T22:09:00.002-04:00

Its been in the water around here for months and no, Madness aint drinking (for once, I know!) It started a few months ago .. "So'an'so is pregnant .. she's pregnant, she is, and her too"
Yay so happy for ya'll. Really.
And so now, naturally.. the births have begun.

MadCongrats to Tori and Blake who welcomed Lily Rhyann last week .. Big Big BIG Congrats to Gramma Lynn .. who Madness totally hearts .. a lot.

K&K will be welcoming AnnaBell soon .. now Internet, that is a birth that Madness simply CAN NOT WAIT FOR!! (Details withheld .. but lets just say that if that baby comes out with a tan .. Madness wont be surprised. At all.)

Speaking of things Madness CAN NOT WAIT FOR .. Madness has been looking forward to Monday all weekend long. Insane, you say? Not so much. Considering Madness opened a new bank account on Thursday and deposited half of her paycheck to open the account. Nice Bank Manager Lady who opened the account told Madness that she would have access to these funds on Saturday. Friday afternoon at oh about 4:30 Madness called the bank to make sure said funds would indeed be available because the kids like to eat on the weekend an'shit. Nice Bank Teller Lady assured Madness that all funds would be available.

Saturday morning Madness went to the evil institution of satan to withdraw this weeks grocery fund. Or so she thought. Evil Bitch Lady at the only branch open on Saturday kept saying things like "Unfortunately" and "Apologize" and "Unfortunately" and Madness kept saying things like "Unacceptable" and "Unacceptable" and "I dont want to hear you say "unfortunately" again, in fact, I dont want to hear you say anything else!" an'shit like that.

So Madness is looking forward to Monday morning when she will walk into the evil institution of satan and find out just how much they are going to compensate her for all that bullshit that never should have happened because bitch TOLD ME my funds would be available and they werent.
Madness wonders if the Nice Teller Lady who lied to her spent her weekend laughing her ass off at the stupid schlep that thought she was getting phat cash Saturday morning and didnt. Bet she did .. which is why Madness wont feel bad at all when she reaches out and bitch slaps that "How may I help you" grin right off her face.

Its times like these that make MaxX search high and low because he knows theres a bottle of Depakote around here somewhere and SamPleaseCalmDown ...

Where Madness takes a moment before she has a word .. for once

2008-08-23T20:40:00.007-04:00

Remember when Madness was all "woohoo Barack and Hillary is sooo gonna happen" an'then Barack and Hillary didnt happen after all. Well, Madness got all worked up for a minute there and even sat down to write Mr.Obama a letter. Madness is always sayin shes gonna write a letter about this and that .. but Madness never does. Call that lazy or call that ADD, whatever. Point is .. this time Madness started writin' that letter. It went a little something like this:

Dear Barack,
Umm yeah ... about that. I thought we discussed this, I thought we had an understanding. 'Member I was all "Do it Barack, you know you wanna .. just do it" I mean, I know I didnt come right out and say "Put Hill on the ticket with you" but I was pretty ding dang clear about this"

And then .. something really strange happened ... a voice spoke and Madness heard it. (Please dont tell anyone about the hearing voice thing .. it could cause trouble, ok? thanks) Something said to Madness, "Madness, what if Barack and his camp know a thing or two that you dont?" and Madness was all "Say what? As IF! Pshaw!"

So Madness set out to learn her up on some Biden .. and this article here was all Madness really needed to read and now she's all "Huh, mmkay then, alright .. yeah .. certainly Barack knows what he's doing .. so Rock On Barack and Biden .. Rock On." Sure there are things about this Biden character that make parts of my head itch .. but who am I, anyway.

It makes enough sense ah'reckon .. if you put it like that, Madness can see where Hill isnt so much ying to Baracks yang afterall. (*teehee Madness said "Baracks yang") Madness doesnt doubt that Hill will find herself in the place where she is meant to be.

And so it came to be .. Barack and Biden .. sittin in a tree ...

WhatToDoToDieToday

2008-08-22T09:50:00.002-04:00

Madness wont live forever. Madness days are numbered.
Is any of this or them worth losing every last day with she who is Mad?

APPARENTLY SO.

Have it your way. Madness wont squander what little she has left being undone by you or them. You want to be consumed with hate and anger .. with a terrible thirst for blame?

Knock.Your.Self.Out.

But youre gonna do it without me. There arent enough days left in life to throw them away over this bullshit.

Love,
Madness

You Didnt See the IRONY Before You Clicked Send !?!

2008-08-22T08:01:00.000-04:00

MaxX did ... the hilarity and absurdity too.

Madness will come.

YuckMouth

2008-08-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

Eww. There is just NO excuse for this.

Madness has learned that it is best to protect the identity of those she makes examples of.

Nah.. she just had to blow the pic up so you could get the full effect of MsYuckMouth in all her glory.

*** Update ***

Never Fear Internet .. Madness has taken action!

A gift ... for YuckMouth .. Compliments of Madness.

And if that doesnt work ... never fear, never fear ... Madness has this on order.

Not Last Night but the Night Before

2008-08-19T12:50:00.004-04:00

Easy like Sunday mornin .. only it was easy like Sunday Evening because Sunday morning was a fuzzy blurry haze on account of lots of weekend wine and MadLove. Ok fine, weekend beer, details.

Easy like Sunday Evenin .. Madness kicked back in ThreeDollahChair and shot the shit with MaxX while he grilled chicken and burgers and hawtdawgs. The air was fresh, the sky was blue and the sun was warm .. but not too warm because Madness doesnt do heat. Soon babies and puppies joined MaxX and Madness outside and the silliness was kicked up a few notches.

There is nothing Madness hearts more than Easy like Sunday Evenings with MaxX and the babies being as silly as silly can be. Nothing.

Meanwhile, Madness was blog hopping Saturday night and dont you just love blog hopping? Oh Oh Oh ... and did you know that Madness is sure and certain that she will die young? From Cancer? Madness has always known this. Dont ask .. cause I wont tell .. but it could be because Madness mother was robbed of her life .. by cancer. Or it could be that Madness is just irrational and crazy.
Regardless, Madness spent a good part of Saturday and Sunday getting to know PunkRockMommy. You should too.

Please stay tuned while Madness regroups.

Madness hearts MadOlympic Moments

2008-08-16T20:42:00.006-04:00

Madness hearts the Olympics ... most 'specially the summer games ... swimming, gymnastics, basketball, diving and track and field make Madness go 'ooh yeah'.

This year you either know all about Michael Phelps or you live under a rock. Michael Phelps pulled off a MadOlympic Moment that gave Madness the chills. Check it out here. Dont worry, its a story in pictures for your viewing pleasure ... so dont be a boob go have a looksie.

SMILE NICE DAMMIT !!!

2008-08-15T07:13:00.007-04:00

"Mom, please dont put these on your blog" ... "Nobody you know will see these pics, TeenageDaughter" ... "But Dad says youre becoming famous, like Bossy"
Oh. Hells. Yes.
Right after TeenageSon was threatened with death if he didnt put the gameboythingie away and POSE FOR YOUR MOTHER!!! ....

Yes, Madness owns one more child .. but he was on his bus before Madness was dragged out of bed this morning .. stay tuned .. he does to exist!!

Because Bossy is the Boss like that

2008-08-14T22:45:00.002-04:00

Russia invaded Georgia .. say what?
No, Fool .. not Georgia USA .. and certainly not Georgia Getz
No Madness cant break that shit down for you
But Bossy can ... because shes the Boss like that.

Yes'sir Thems Ma'Babies

2008-08-14T22:31:00.006-04:00

T&D posing for Madness before school ... because this years uniforms are just that cute!

Ahh.. but do you see that look D is giving Madness? Do you see it?

Can you guess which child had to be threatened with bodily injury to pose for these pics?

MmmHmm ... Baby D was not havin' it.

Baby D (as in Diva) only poses freely when she feels it. Baby T on the other hand .. is always ready for her close up.

They are SORRY!?!

2008-08-08T21:28:00.003-04:00

Madness computer is SORRY, but it REFUSES to UPLOAD photos from her KodakEasyShare.
What the fuck!?!
God hates Madness.

Sooo... since satanspawncomputer wont upload at the moment .. Madness has had to resort to the Paint feature on satanspawncomputer.

Madness wanted to share with you a photo of Madness' TeenageDaughter sportin her new glasses. As MaxX reported to Madness after her eye doctor appointment, "TeenageDaughter is as blind as a damn bat." Oh. Good thing you just ordered her glasses then, huh?

And man, oh, man did they order up some glasses. MaxX and Madness have style. MmmHmm. MaxX and Madness produced five very stylish children... as demonstrated here:

I know. Madness makes no damn sense.

Madness knows it sucks ... she knows

2008-08-06T20:41:00.002-04:00

NO this isnt the PHUN new look for the MadLands you heard about days and days ago ... but quite honestly.. Madness just hasnt had the time or .. uh ... attention span to tweak her blog the way she wanted to.
Never Fear .. I'll get around to it.

FunkeeMunkee

2008-08-03T00:36:00.003-04:00

MaxX and Madness went shopping today on account of it was way past time to whip up some BBQ ... and oh my gah what did we spot at the local grocery?

Somebody please break this down for Madness. Please.

GoodTimes

2008-08-02T23:10:00.013-04:00

GoodTimes around the MadLands today. The day started with MaxX and Madness cleaning and organizing the garage. Next we cut down somethingberry trees. Followed by a cold shower because it was a zillion degrees out there today, people. A zillion.
For anyone out there wondering how MaxX and Madness entertain themselves on breezy hot Saturday mornings ... here's a sneak peek. For those of you who come to the MadLands to drink up every detail of our lives ... here's a Big Gulp.
and do you know how many times Madness had to upload this photo before she stopped deleting it in edit? A lot.

Ha! Ya'll thought Madness was trickin with you when she said that BritBrit is a vicious beast of an animal ... more times than not this is whats really goin on ... BritBrit bringing Rotham within an inch of his life.

Maddy lovin on Rotham.

Maddy lovin on BritBrit.Best Friends For Life.

The rest of the day around the MadLands? Cold Beer. Smokin BBQ. Old Friends. Bliss.

Madness is Gonna Get Dooced .. so she's gonna LAY OFF OF IT for a while from work .. k?

2008-07-31T23:00:00.000-04:00

For Reals .. No More MadLands from work ... or Madness is gonna get Dooce'd.

Madness life is coming together .. its all coming into order .. so now Madness will have plenty of time to tend to her Internetlings from home .. and not work .. and maybe, just maybe, she wont get Dooce'd.

We shall see.

The MadLands are being overhauled .. stay tuned!

2008-07-31T09:19:00.000-04:00

This is gonna be phun!

~ Something is Stirring ~

2008-07-27T04:56:00.005-04:00

Do you feel that?
Something is coming.

Like a thief in the night
as stealth as the whisper of the wind ...

He has been called.
and He has come.

because Thats How I Roll

2008-07-27T02:05:00.007-04:00

How do you manage to SHUT MADNESS UP almost entirely? Sit her down at 2:00 am .. only 2 hours after she and the family finally finish moving. Thats how.

I keep finding myself sitting here staring at the screen.. knowing that I have this this this and that to tell ya'll ... yet my eyes just blur over and ... nothing.

Madness has been fussin at MaxX for days now to "stop letting me leave the house without my camera!!" Today, MaxX brought the camera along for me. Madness hearts MaxX.

But get this ... Madness had camera in hand all ding dang day and failed to snap pics of the best parts of the day!

Failed, Internet!! Which just proves that the problem doesnt lie with MaxX not reminding Madness to take her camera with her when she leaves the house ... the problem lies with Madness remembering to use the dang thang. Obscene.

MaxX and Madness met Cool Lady today. Dont know Cool Lady's name but she's cool. Cool Lady had a poster thingie that she made back in the day. It looked kinda like this:

Yeah ... Madness had camera in hand when she stood in Cool Lady's garage and took in the curious wonder of this poster thingie. Did Madness snap a pic ... hells no. Because thats how I roll.

Never Fear Constant Reader ~ Stephen is gonna sue Madness

2008-07-24T13:50:00.002-04:00

Madness is returning, Internet. In addition to DeathWatch2008 starring BritBrit and Rotham .. Madness and the family moved over the weekend. Internet isnt yet working at the new place, even though AT&T said it would be working by 8pm yesterday. Now they are saying it will be on tomorrow.
Evil Rae of Death, anyone?
So yeah ...

Puppies!!
Brit Brit is home .. Rotham is still making us worry some but he's not throwing up or spewing blood from his butt .. so we are hopeful. Worried but hopeful.

Stay Tuned Internet ... Madness is on her way back ... with MadStories to tell!

Madness wants her ticket OUT of the Twilight Zone, K?

2008-07-22T14:27:00.004-04:00

BritBrit is coming home today ... everybody say "Yay!"

Yeah .. well .. these are the MadLands .. 'member?

Rotham is sick.
Yes Internet, you heard Madness.

This is Madness.

BritBrit Onasis

2008-07-21T17:07:00.001-04:00

Afternoon Report:

BritBrit has had NO loose or bloody stool today.

**I can see clearly now the rain is gone**

Aces!

Oh .. almost forgot .. *HI Crazed Stalkers* .. yes, I'm looking at YOU.

PuppyUpdate V .. VI .. ?? aka .. Madness cant see straight anymore ..

2008-07-21T09:03:00.004-04:00

Dr Anderson says BritBrit is making "puppy steps" (pardon his pun) ... she is now shitting pudding as opposed to spraying the joint down with diareah ..
WOOHOO Brit.. thats my GIRL!!
He says she is also being more wiggly and feisty when they handle her and change her fluids, so thats a good sign too. He thinks maybe another 24 hours in wonderland and she just might pull through this.

Madness refers to the hospital as wonderland because by the time we're done paying for this we might as well have bought wonder.land.

Oy Vey.

PuppyUpdate IV

2008-07-19T12:25:00.002-04:00

BritBrit is in the trusted hands of Dr Anderson as we speak. He says she needs Fluids, Antibiotics, Crossed Fingers and Prayers. She will be spending the weekend in the hospital.

She has to make it, Internet. She just has to.

PuppyUpdate III

2008-07-19T06:34:00.002-04:00

BritBrit Onasis isnt getting better. Do you hear me, Internet? She isnt getting better.

Stay tuned while Madness considers talking to the guy downstairs ... because NO, Internet ... Im not going to watch her die. Im not.

Puppy Update II

2008-07-18T12:00:00.000-04:00

Rotham is still doing well .. he seems to have snapped out of it. Thank you Jeebus.

BritBritOnasis on the other hand is still draggin her little ass. The vet gave her the same treatment that Rotham got ... we brought her home last night and she rested .. we were hoping that the morning would bring our fiesty bratty ornery crazy-whacka-a-doodle-doggie back to us.

She doesnt seem to be getting worse .. but she hasnt snapped back to health in the blink of an eye like Sir Rotham did.

Please stay tuned while Madness pulls God aside and jacks him up.

Puppy Update

2008-07-17T14:08:00.003-04:00

Rotham is holding strong .. doing well still today.

Now BritBrit is sick. Yes Internet, it's true ... BritBrit is sick.

We have an appointment at the vet at 4:45 today.

Stay Tuned while Madness has another word with God.

Standing Vigil .. ok .. not that serious ... yet.

2008-07-16T20:58:00.004-04:00

Madness doesnt even know where to begin..

To start though.. apologies in advance if this is the worst, most blumbering blog post ever .. but youre just gonna hafta understand...

Rotham is sick... and Im not talkin about 'got into the trash upset tummy sick' .. we're talkin Death Sentence Sick .. and NO Im not overreacting , Internet!

Allow Madness to digress so's that you understand what we're talkin'bout here.

'member last Saturday .. blah blah Family visit with Friends .. blah blah .. Rotham and Brit visit with sister Cookie .. blah blah ..... No? click here and catch up, k?

Youre back? Are you caught up? Good.

.. so yeah .. Madness has been holdin out on ya, Internet... only because she just couldnt choke up the balls to actually say it .. but now she has to.

Cookie, Rotham and Brits sister, died Monday morning.

Parvo. Oh Dear God I Said It.

We didnt know Cookie was sick when we went to visit. We didnt know. By the time we were told that Cookie "wasnt acting like herself lately" it was too late. By then all we could do was watch and wait. It was too late.

Our vet said that if they were going to get sick .. it would happen within 5-10 days. Today is day four.

If you recall .. Madness was suppose to be in training all day *shudder*. Blah Blah ...

1:00 pm - Madness phone rings. "I finally got you!" ... "Ive been in meetings..whats up" ... "Mom, when I opened the kennel to take the puppies out, Rotham wouldnt come .. he wouldnt RUN mom!" ... "Call Dad ... NOW".

1:30 pm - MaxX confirms ... Rotham is not well.

2:19 pm - Message from MaxX .. "Call me!"

3:00 - 2 hours and 17 calls to every vet in the tri-county area (seriously) ... Madness is on the rush home .. we have an appointment ...cities and counties away... with the only vet open and compassionate enough to see us.

4:10 - MaxX, Madness, Brit and Rotham arrive in PoeDunkVille .. we were given instructions to pull around back and the vet would meet us outside ... yeah ... it is that serious.

(Madness is digressing again.. deal with it) ...

Reader, are you a Mom? or a Dad? Have you ever held your sick child in your arms and felt hopeless and desperate when overhearing a doctor or nurse say something that made you look at your child and into your soul and fear for their life? I have.

Today it happened again.

The vet tech lady that met us behind the animal hospital took a fecal sample from my Rotham and the only words she said after seeing the swab were "thats not good" ... and Madness almost collapsed.

You see, Internet, Madness didnt realize that these two pups found themselves a place in the deepest depths of her heart .. until today. Phooey me all you want ... those pups are my babies every bit as much as her, him, him, her and her.

6:30 pm - MaxX, Madness, Brit and Rotham arrive home. Rotham got him some IV fluids, a nice IM injection of antibiotics and an anti-inflamatory and we're home ... to watch .. and wait.

***update***
Rotham is doing well. He's hydrated and rested and seems to be pulling through. We are still very much in 'watch and wait' mode ... but we are hopeful.
We are watching Brit closely too .. and thus far, she shows zero signs of ailment. MaxX and Me discussed the fact that Brit is just plain too damn full of FIRE to get sick. Ornery little Bitch. Just like her Momma.

Why Madness has a Lump on her Head

2008-07-16T10:35:00.002-04:00

Does anyone out there know how Madness feels about sitting through Meetings or Training Sessions? Anyone? Anyone? Beuller?

Madness has a hard time sitting through a 30 minute meeting ... today Madness is in training ALL.DAY.LONG. Two hours in to it and Madness already has a concussion from BEATING HER HEAD AGAINST THE WALL.

Today is going to suck donkeyballs.

because Madness does NOTHING right ...

2008-07-14T00:10:00.010-04:00

... and Madness doesnt have a word to say. Not. one. word.

The Money Shot

2008-07-12T22:49:00.012-04:00

Today MaxX and Madness and all 7 babies visited with Friends. Friends are the owners of Brit and Rothams sister, Cookie. Friends and Cookie have a houseguest, Chico, a 3 year old chiuaua who believes he's an eighty pound rotweiller named Brutus. Thats Chico running to catch up with MaxX, Rotham and Brit.

Chico is very friendly and made sure that he personally introduced himself to Brit and Rotham.

Brit, Rotham and Chico had an easy like Sunday Morning kind of day..running the yard, digging holes, playing with kids ...

and then ... things got a little too friendly..

wait for it ...

The Money Shot

Because Madness and Dooce are like this

2008-07-11T18:42:00.006-04:00

Seriously though ... Dooce is so totally consumed with MadEnvy!

Earlier today Madness told ya'll about watching Grease and having a kick ass theme song to accompany her through the day. Madness was at work when she posted that and was sneaking around on the internet so's that she could share that with you .. at the risk of being Dooced, internet! Madness hopes youre appreciative of her sacrifice!

Anyway .. last night was the first time Madness watched Grease in sixteen years and she came to a realization ... and DAMNED if Dooce didnt have that same.ding.dang. realization herself! Today! No joke. Only one small difference .. Dooce is talkin'bout Grease II with Michelle Pfeifer and Madness is talkin'bout Grease with OliviaNewtonWhatsHerName.. John Travolta. Click here to see what Dooce had to say bout'that.

Speakin of Dooce and my post from earlier today ... remember that other bit of random madness that was forgotten just that fast ?

Here it is .. (what a coincidence .. this here is also compliments of Dooce) Yes, you gotta click that link too so's you can read the caption for this particular dose of The Daily Chuck .. you can thank me later.

Madness hearts this particular dose of The Daily Chuck because she would oh.so.totally. rock that hair if she could pull it off ... oh.hell.yes.she.would.

Grease is the word ...

2008-07-11T10:43:00.003-04:00

Madness is a lucky girl today because last night was Movie Night with the kiddies. We watched Strange Brew .. "Take off Hoser!!" ha!

But more importantly .. we watched Grease ! Oh Yeah.

And so Madness is a lucky girl today because Madness has the Grease theme song IMBEDDED in her brain. Imagine living your life with the theme song to Grease as your background music. Oh Yeah.

Guess what .. there was one more random thing that Madness was going to share with you, constant reader .. but she forgot .. that fast. Wooosh!

Eh. Check back I guess.

Im just saying

2008-07-09T20:22:00.003-04:00

Seriously though..

Madness isnt a total bitch (or psycho, or lunatic or whatever else ya'll are calling me ... yeah I know em all) ... and neither are you.

Vicki may [details omitted because Madness isnt trying to put it ALL out there ... *yet* .. ] .. but Vicki also bakes kick ass cakes for her kids birthdays .. and shes a nurse. MmmHmm. RN baby. Registered Nurse. So Vicki is no numb brain either. Vicki is a beautiful woman, mother of wonderful children.. shes lived through unimaginable despair ... pain the likes of which you and I have never known... and she continues to live and raise her family and face each day. Bear, I have great respect for you. I truely do. Love, Madness.

Laura may [details omittied because Madness isnt tyring to put it ALL out there ... *yet* .. ] .. but Laura is also the mother of a beautiful daughter. I know nothing more of M that what Ive seen in the pictures that I had no business looking at .. but what I know of Lauras daughter is that she is a happy, healthy, kind, smart, loved and cared for young lady who is becoming a young woman and discovering her way in life. I respect thtatLaura is a hard working single mother who has her head on straight and tight. I envy the bond between Laura and Jacki .. or at least the bond I imagine they have. Everyone needs to have their girls at their side.

Sam. Youre just a kid. Lord knows there isnt a day that passes that I dont want to smack that cheshire grin straight off your face ... but at the same time there isnt a day that passes that Im not aware that ... youre just a kid. If you really are pregnant .. I wish you all the best. This is a time in your life that you should cherish for eternity and beyond. I honestly hope that youve got your life in order by the time your child arrives. This is it Sam. I truely wish you all the best in life. (I was bein all nutso whacko cause I just wanted you to stay out of mine).

Riss. Oy Vey. Riss. Am I going here? yeah.. I am .. on account of youre still here. Again I have MadRespect for you. Wife and mother of four kick ass kids. MadRespect for putting your mind to it and going back to school, sister... hells yeah.. I did that myself... it was an awesome experience that I wasnt quite ready for at the time .. but I got a lot out of it and hope to finish one day. So yeah.. I respect you for all that.

Im just sayin.

Madness Hearts Lurking Readers

2008-07-08T15:30:00.003-04:00

Another of Madness' fav things to do is to visit her statcounter and try to figure out who each of her readers is.

Madness has a spot on some of you ...
Others are keeping her guessing.
Oh What Fun!

Dont worry readers ... Madness will post again soon and give you more of the PUREMadness that you just.cant.resist.

Love,
Madness

HolyMadCrap

2008-07-06T03:08:00.002-04:00

Post 4th of July Recovery .. also knows as July 5th.

Sleep.
Attempt to get up.
Sleep.long.time.
Eat BBQ hubby dutifully and lovingly prepared.
Drive to sons friends house and deliver video game connector jack wire for multiple game system thingie whatever that thing is.
Errands.
Video Store! Score!
Watch cool flick with hubby and kids that made us all go 'the END?!?!"...
followed by realization that cool flick is based on a literary series ... Aces.!
Crazy Pups .. sit, beg, do anything for a treat.
CoolCat .. Noisy Kitty.
Monkey eating Kitties.
Misbehaving ornery daddies.
Giggly babies.
Heating pads.
Nose Bleeds.
The curse of 2:32 am broken at last!

MadSecrets

2008-07-06T02:43:00.003-04:00

Dear StepMother,

Confess your secret to her ... if your child has a secret that warrants tearful confession ...
then you owe her the knowledge of it.

Sincerely,
Madness

View this weeks online secrets at postsecret.com

Madness momma ...

2008-07-06T02:05:00.001-04:00

ha! MaxX. which one of these is Madness momma?

About that...

2008-07-06T01:59:00.004-04:00

Click here to read about this thingy: (they call it The Large Hadron Particle Collider) dont be lazy, click it.... about that ... uh ... hmmm ... yeah.
Madness has these thoughts .. in no particular order:
1) Armageddon
2) The End of Days
3) Didnt your momma ever teach you not to fuck with shit that could destroy human kind?
4) Duck and Cover
5) Shock and Awe .. ha!
6) uh ... hmmm ... yeah.

Time

2008-07-05T00:17:00.008-04:00

One of Madness fav things to do is visit Time.com and click through the photos of the week ... since Madness knows not everyone does this.. she thought she'd share some of her favs with you ...

You can thank me later.This photo was taken earlier this year and tugs so very strongly at Madness' heart .. you see.. Madness stood in this very spot as a child .. time and again .. looking to the heavens in awe. This is a photo of the space shuttle Endeavor lifting off during the night. You cant fully appriciate the fantastic wonder thru a mere photo, but trust Madness .. this is an awesome event.

Because Madness was once a young girl .. and perhaps, reader, so were you ... and because Madness has three young girls ... this photo makes Madness squeal and sigh .. because times they are a changin. (this is a photo of a 4 year old girl playing in confetti after a rally for Presidential Hopeful HILLARY CLINTON .. who was also once a young girl).

... because Madness *also* has the audacity of hope. Michelle, Barack..if youre listening ... Madness is placing her hope square on your shoulders... thanks for carrying that for me, for mine, for us.

These are John Lennons tinted prescription glasses being held infront of his handwritten lyrics to "Give Peace a Chance". Stunning.

Photos of Fourth of July fun coming soon ...

MadStoryTime

2008-07-02T09:43:00.001-04:00

Coming soon..

MadStoryTime ~ Whose My Baby Daddy?

Stay Tuned .. you WONT want to miss this.

.. thats why my .... wants to ...

2008-07-01T20:59:00.002-04:00

Madness needs to make certain this point is very clear

there is one reason why its been considered .. ONE REASON ONLY.

*and*

there is one reason why it hasnt happened .. ONE REASON ONLY.

Think.

WahWahWah

2008-07-01T19:24:00.002-04:00

Quit'cha cryin ManBitchandtheSkrank .. its not your fault youre laughable.
Why again are you stalkin my page .. as if Im ever gonna have anything nice to say.
Thought you knew.

Madness Breakin It Down

2008-07-01T13:14:00.001-04:00

Since youre all on ma'shit today .. chew on this.

It was brought to Madness attention this evening that the following points require clarification:

Madness never said your TubeTops were what made you look like a Man, Lady.

Madness said you look like a Man AND your TubeTops are ridiculous.

MaxX said your TubeTop doesnt make you look like a Man.

MaxX never said he didnt think you look like a Man, in general.

If you knew a ding dang thang about MaxX then you'd see his irresistible wink and grin when he says such things .. but you dont so you wont .. see it, see.. ManBitch... (yes, you've evolved from ManLady to ManBitch .. ManBitch rolls off the tounge much more smoothly and it makes MaxX chuckle)

(Only moments after Madness mentioned MaxXs irresistible winky and grin .. moments I tell you .. MaxX tapped Madness on her shoulder and she saw the sticker that HE picked from the sticker sheet BabyD gave Momma and Daddy to chose from ...
the blue winky grinning face.)

**Madness' sticker says Ay-dub-ya-ee-ess-oh-em-ee. Awesome.**

Madness knows you'll appriciate this little work, MB... yeah.. I know you kinda likey me. Ha!

Ok.. so Madness has a full time job, and by full time job she means
45 hours a week there.
168 hours a week here, Momma, (times Five in.case.you.didnt.know.)
168 hours a week there, Wife.
168 hours a week working out the logistics of a very delicate move from here to there (want me to break that one down .. ask me .. I will.)
168 hours a week keeping this from ending up there.
168 hours a week dealing with him her her and them.

And what was Madness saying? Oh .. yeah... Madness has a full time job to get back to. Peace.

SundaySecret ~ and a little something extra

2008-06-29T16:33:00.006-04:00

Madness followed the link on PostSecret this week to another cool blogspot .. click here to check it out and read the story behind this photo .. you can thank me later. Click here to visit ifoundyourcamera Success Story page.

And heres this weeks MadSecret :

Which one is your fav?

~ Daddy'oh Day ~

2008-06-29T01:04:00.006-04:00

This is a story in pictures for your viewing pleasure ...

How Daddy'o Learned Rotham to FearNothing and hop down the deck stairs.

It's also the story of BritBritOnasis sayin "Nuh-uh-No-way am I goin down those steps. Forget It" and she meant it.

At one point Brit was pacing the top of the stairs whining and whimpering .. then she looked over the edge of the deck and jumped off.. like that makes any sense.

Eh. Enjoy.Brit on the deck, hiding under ThreeDollahChair... Daddy'o put a piece of bratwurst in front of her to lure her to the stairs.

Gobble. Im still not going down those steps.

Rotham learned to sit just about that fast too. Hims a good boy.

By Populer Demand ... yes HUH!

2008-06-29T00:26:00.004-04:00

Some of you creepy stalkers readers have been blowin Madness email and MySpace up asking to see the freakin rae of sunshine that is Madness these days.

So here you have it stalkers readers. The new header is a quick snap I took with my beloved Cannon FancyPants KodakEasyShare C813. The only thing I did to the photo was add the coloring book effect. No colors have been photoshop'd because Madness doesnt know squat tart about photoshop.. so yeah, that really is the color of my eyes and yes my hair is orange and yellow no my hair isnt orange and yellow .. its fire.

And this is a quick shot that shows what it really looks like and yeah .. I kinda like it.

F I R E

2008-06-26T21:39:00.004-04:00

Madness makes no damn sense. (we all knew this, right?)

Madness decided she needed to lighten up her chocolate brown hair in order for it to take the burgundy dye. Madness tried the peroxide stripping agent, to no avail. So Madness got her some blonde blonde blonde dye and ... uh.. yeah..[ insert shit on yourself laughter here ]

Ha! Never fear dear reader .. Madness is no dummy ... chocolate brown + blonde blonde blonde + peroxide stripping agent = HAWT.

Yeah ... Madness' hair is F I R E. Think of an orange flame .. thats it.

Pics to come.

Hot. MmmHmm ... just ask MaxX.

Packin it up and Movin it down ... all the way down

2008-06-23T18:52:00.004-04:00

Madness is packin it up and movin it down ... for reals.

Been talking for months about movin the MadLands back home to Florida.. it starts now.

Madness has a lead on a sweet condo ... and a few houses. Madness has been scurred shatless about moving 1100 miles away. ELEVEN HUNDRED MILES. But then Madness figured .. there is here and here is there and then that there is there and here so... fuck it .. we're UP.

Hellooooo Stalkers

2008-06-23T18:46:00.003-04:00

Yes..Madness knows youre here.. so she thought she'd say "Hi!"
Dont be shy ... say something .. dare ya.
Why oh Why is madness so ornery tooo-day?

BingePurge

2008-06-22T00:17:00.003-04:00

Madness hauled kids from here to there and there then there and back again today..
blah blah blah...
Madness found her Norah Jones CD ... and guess what ya'll .. playing Norah Jones in the MommaMobile *calmed the beasts* settled the children .. to a degree... and Madness too .. uh, yeah.
So Madness has binged and now purged and rearranged the music in her life.. because the music does not lie and right now Madness needs some truth that isnt going to send her straight.off.that.there.bridge.

Oh'Bama

2008-06-21T23:15:00.003-04:00

Oh *sigh* oh...OhBama.

The only thing missing is the image of Dub'ya high tailin it outta whats left of the white house (..nation, world..what~have~ya) .. Madness invisions Dub'ya's truck loaded down with fancy paintings, classified coverups documents, copper wiring an'shit.

Tell Madness this isnt a scaryhopeful state of affairs.

Big Things

2008-06-20T23:45:00.002-04:00

Big Things, you say?
Yeah..Big Things.

MaxX and Sir Rotham had another training day .. yeah.. Madness has failed to keep ya'll up.to.date. on her pups .. (stay tuned)

Training Day One : MaxX taught Sir Rotham to hop down the deck stairs... with the help of grilled bratwurst.. ha! Rotham loves him some treats.
Training Day Two : MaxX teaches Sir Rotham Mathias to Sit on command.
Whose a good boy? Rothams a good boy!

Oh, Brit? Yeah .. Brit is hard headed. Brit cant stay focused or still long enough to learn much of anything just yet... she's gonna take more time and attention. Rotham is so laid back at attentive he's having no problem learning all his puppy stuff.

Madness' pups are getting so big *sigh* soooo big.

Oh look! Its my blog

2008-06-19T10:04:00.002-04:00

Good Morning stalkers readers ...
Madness has been MIA for a few days .. big things happening around the MadLands .. BIG things.
What things you ask? Oh.. a little of this and a little of that. Yep, some of that too.

To all my friends at SBO who are reading "Hi, Hello! I miss you!"

With any luck Madness will be back tonight and will give you something worth reading.

With.any.luck.

Ok, love you, bye.
Madness

Whose yer Daddy?

2008-06-15T20:40:00.006-04:00

Madness is gonna leave that one alone and reflect on Daddy'oDay at the MadLands ... you can thank me later.

Daddy'oDay in the MadLands started in the wheeee hours of the morning ... MaxX and Me out on the deck watchin our two babiest of babies chase each other around the back yard... silly pups. Poor Rotham tries so hard to keep up with his big sister BritBrit... but baby brother Rotham is a much bigger boy and just doesnt have the speed and agility that Brit has. She runs his butt all over the place.

Madness *slept in* on Daddy'ODay .. MmmHmm.. she did... at Daddy'o's request. Im'a leave that alone for now too.

Madness awoke to a beautiful bright sunny warm day ... the grill was hot and the air filled with the flavor of BBQ. Laundry on the line blowing in the breeze .. kiddies putting finishing touches on glittery tokens of daughterly love for the DaddyMan.

Oh yeah, Madness almost forgot, this is early summer in the MidWest.. Ha! Storm rolled in ... lightening..thunder..cold heavy rain .. HAIL .. finish BBQing in the rain .. eh, that was kinda cool.

MadTheatre on Daddy'oDay... Stand By Me ... oh yeah.

Daddy schooled the kiddies on a cinematic classic.. and Madness was all "is this mothers day or somethin?"

The scent of Old Books and Ninja Monkies.

Photos of MaxX grilling in the rain ... coaxing puppies with bratwurst to walk down deck stairs and MaxX gettin MadLove from the wee ones coming soon .. KodakEasyShare is acting Janky at the moment. *snicker*

Cause thats how Madness does shit sometimes

2008-06-12T18:34:00.003-04:00

Have you ever felt like you literally need to hide from the world?
Do you know that you surely will NOT continue to breathe if you dont run and hide?
If youve ever damn near lost it and actually felt like you were gonna break then you know what Im talkin about.

Thing is .. Madness feels that way all.the.time.

And when you literally feel like you are going to break at every joint and cease breathing all.the.time you get to points where you panic.
I said "get to points" because if you recall .. the panic is constant.
You cant quiet a beast for long.
Sometimes I can get a grip on it all and stand somewhat steady .. but the beast always comes back and threatens total breakdown.

When the panic sets in ... the fucker sits down in 'rational thoughts' seat.
And sometimes .. thats how Madness does shit.

Wordless Wednesday on Thursday

2008-06-12T07:09:00.003-04:00

Because Madness started a new job, and the kids are out of school, and MaxX is working days now ... all just in time for Madness' ManicMeltdown ... The Blog is suffering ...Wordless Wednesday on Thursday... hang on with me Internet .. Im trying.

a terrible thirst for blame

2008-06-11T20:52:00.002-04:00

foreWarned is foreArmed

things that make Madness go .. oh my.

2008-06-11T17:50:00.003-04:00

Oh my.
What should have been a 7 day period was only 3.
SuperWhackedOutRagingEmotionalBlubberingMess.
PIMPLES on my face (note: Madness didnt even have acne in HighSchool!)
Two sunami size waves of heat and nausea resulting in vomit in as many days.
DONT touch my boobs!
Oh my.
Failed tubal ligation .. or mania mixed with stomach bug?
Oh my.

MadDictation

2008-06-10T19:38:00.003-04:00

~Six year old daughter: "Momma, can I have a popsicle for juice?"
~Madness: "No, eat your dinner"

*Six year old daughter rubbing her tummy*
*Madness notices the letters BELY written on six year old daughters tummy*

~Madness: "Who wrote BELY on your tummy"
~Six year old daughter: "*giggle* I did"
~Madness: "Dork. 'Belly' has two L's. Eat your dinner"
~Six year old daughter: "Two L's .. gotcha .. thanks"

Its quiet around the MadLands

2008-06-10T11:44:00.000-04:00

like before the storm

Happy Birthday MaxX

2008-06-08T21:14:00.001-04:00

Today is the 16th birthday of yours that we have had together. We've come a long way from your 21st birthday spent in Aarons apartment ... So many years have gone by .. so fast.

I remember the moment I first saw you as clearly as if it were yesterday... standing in the arcade.. schoolin em all, MrBigMan.

So many people have learned the hard way...many more still yet to learn... that going head to head with MaxX is certain defeat. Ive always loved that about you... standing back and watching you claim victory after victory, with ease. Your soul feeds on the thrill of the extreme .. your spirit always driving for more, only relenting when your body rests.

The first day we met I fell in love with the way you protect that which you love. Because of you I dont know fear of the world, for I have always stood at my place under your watchful eye. Youre the reason I have no fear in my soul .. you've always protected me and defended me as you would the heart that pumps the blood through your veins.

There are loads of people out there who have seen you interact with a child .. those that have seen this have no doubt noted your gentle compassion .. few know as intimately as I do just how genuine and compassionate the love you have for a child really is. I was the one lucky enough to be the mother of your own.

I love the way you look at me, your eyes plead with me to feel the love in your heart. I love the way you say my name .. with the same tenderness as a kiss placed on a newborn babes nose.

We've been married for ten of these last 16 years and I still tingle when I hear you speaking to someone and you say "my wife". I love (and hate) the way you lean in just close enough so that I am sure to smell your skin when Im angry. You know that your scent is a drug I just cant resist.

I love that you adore every piece of me ... I love how I can make you say please and thank you.

I love that you'll stumble around the room in the dark looking for pants so you can go downstairs for the eighth time tonight to check out the noise that I.Know.I.Heard and you never complain. Every time you go, you come back to bed and wrap me back up in your arms and tell me to kick you harder next time I hear something. That is Love.

I love that youve handled each and every loose and lost tooth because your wussy wifey cant even talk about loose teeth without needing to be revived by defibrilator. (Dont worry, Danny was standing by after I typed that last bit and everything is fine .. he's a champ at CPR!)

I love the way you know everything there is to know about anything, and the way you share all that you know with the babies. I love the talent you have seeping from your soul and the desire burning in your heart.

For your 30th birthday I threw you a party with friends and family. Your cake said "Happy Birthday You Old Goat" and you didnt like that. I will apologize now, babe. I was wrong. I never should have put that on your 30th Birthday cake. You werent an old goat ...

But you ARE NOW!!

Happy Birthday Baby!

All my love now and every tomorrow,

Wife

Hey Ya'll

2008-06-05T11:46:00.003-04:00

The MadLands have moved .. for now .. we'll see how this works out.
Ive been trying to move my blog entries over here.. some of them dont have photos uploaded yet.
Feel free to click here to see the original postings in all of their edited form.

Dooce? Are you reading? Hmmm... Are you?

2008-06-05T11:41:00.004-04:00

Madness cant help but wonder if the Almighty Dooce is sneaking over to the MadLands here and there.

Remember the other day when Madness described in song and YouTube what it feels like to be John Malkovich Madness? Yeah..

Well.. click here and go see what Dooce was up to last night... and TELL ME Dooce hasnt been skipping around the MadLands recently.. yes, yes.. see the DooceTracks?

Ahhh.. Dooce and Madness are tight like that.

dont let yourself be annoyed or bored with Hillary and OBama

2008-06-05T11:40:00.001-04:00

Oh no.. dont do it. Dont even fix your mouth to complain about the Democratic presidential nomination process this election year. Do not complain that Hillary should just bow out as gracefully as possible right now. Do not start blahblahblahing the "my vote really doesnt count in the big picture" crap. Or the "I'll just let someone else go vote and let them chose for me because I'm too lazy to register, show up and vote" crap.

Read this interesting article here about just how close Hillary and Obama really ARE in this here race to become THE Democratic nominee for The Prez. Sure the whole thing may seem a little mucky with all the lah-tee-do about Florida and Michigan and other issues. This little article takes a look at this fuzzy math thats being talked about so much and that Hillary is heavily relying on as reason to STAY IN THE GAME.

Go read it and come back .. and then Madness would like to know if youre a) registered to vote b)if youve voted in your states PrezPrimary and c) why. All of you's who are registered and voted, Aces to You Friend. Those of you that arent and havent.. its.not.too.late. Click here and go register to vote. Then, SHOW UP on Election Day '08.

This article puts emphasis on what Madness has been saying for a while now. Clearly the "popular people" are demonstrating that the ticket we all want to see come November is Clinton/OBama or OBama/Clinton. Either way, people!

So yeah.. dont get annoyed with or bored with whats happening right now with the nomination process. Take a minute to soak in whats really going on, not only in UNITED STATES HISTORY but our FUTURE too. The state of everyday affairs for *everyday normal* Americans like you and me is scary and uncertain and the despairity is only worsening.
Any way we look at it, either John McCain *violent gut wrenching shudder*, Hillary Clinton or Barack OBama will be the next leader of the free world... and the free us. You and me, friend.

One of these folks is gonna make or break us. Yes, I said make or break us because, quite frankly... there isnt too much further down we can all fall before we are broken.
Stay tuned while Madness wonders what the hell is going on around here.
Madness would never ever ever tell anyone who they should love, honor, cherish or VOTE for. And Madness knows that NO ONE out there thinks that them there politicians up thar in Warshingtun are just a bunch of pompus jack asses and none of that bullarky has nothing to do with ME.

But just in case you know someone like that .. Madness offers this.
Yes friend.. the people we elect to run shit around here should most def' be of your concern for oh.so.many reasons. Heres TWO.

Madness defined

2008-06-05T11:36:00.001-04:00

MadCommentary Coming Soon...

Madness thinks that if you had to describe what being inside the Mind of Madness looks and sounds like. This is it.

This song is what having a bipolar mind sounds like... it starts all boppity dumdum and kinda goes nuts .. calms down and goes nuts. Yeah. That about sums it up.

The video pretty much sums up Madness high school days... and three words describe Madness high school days .. Preppy Grunge Cheerleader.

*giggle* MaxX married a cheerleader (1992 Florida State Champs .. yeah)

Just one week into summer vacation and already the idea of spending 300 days alone on an island sounds heavenly.

2008-06-05T11:34:00.000-04:00

The Queen of Shake Shake helped Madness realize just why the thought of 300 days alone on an island sounds heavenly. Schools Out! Ahhh yes. The joys of Parenting Five Children during Summer Vacation.

Madness' babies have been home from school for two.whole.days.now.

Wednesday night Madness was going over the final preparation check lists with MaxX and she was all "We will not panic. We will not go crazy. (nevermind that one of us is already there) We will have a neat, orderly and organized summer vacation around the MadLands. There will be instructions left for the children daily...yes, LISTS of chores and reminders that the children will be beaten if they fight with each other that the children are responsible for themselves and each other and that we are expecting a tightly run ship around here!"

Yes. Summer Vacation around the MadLands is going to be *perfect* .. because Madness made LISTS. Madness even assured herself that we would NOT be eaten out of house and home by five ravenous beasts healthy growing kids by making daily menus. Yes. Madness is the shit.

Summer Vacation at the MadLands. Day One.
Madness pulled up her cell phone records for Thursday May 29, 2008, having clearly recalled the list on the fridge titled "EMERGENCY contact numbers". We've got mom and dads work and cell numbers, friends and family and co-workers cell, home and work numbers, 911 and the like. Madness cell phone records for Thursday list 39 calls from home. Thirty-nine. There were THIRTY-NINE EMERGENCIES on Thursday at the MadLands...consisting of :

"Teenage daughter wont make me breakfast." Even though Teenage Daughters list clearly states "Make breakfast for T and D". While refusing to feed T and D may constitute an emergency in YOUR book.. it does NOT in mine because ... ITS ON HER LIST. IT SHOULD BE DONE and thus no calls should have been made to Madness reporting that it wasnt.

"Momma, we took the puppies out." THAT is a "status update" which should have been reported during what we call a "Status Update Inquiry Call" placed FROM Madness TO her children, not the other way around... clearly not an emergency.
Other calls consisted of "I cant find any clean pants." "Can I have chips instead of bananas and graham crackers for my snack?" "Teenage Daughter is being mean to me." "The mail is here." ....
You get my drift.

Somewhere around NONemergency call number twenty Madness informed the children that "if my cell phone rings ONE MORE TIME and someone isnt BLEEDING or on FIRE .. I will beat you!" (It's ok.. Madness threatens to beat her children all the time. Its a term of endearment.)

Summer Vacation at the MadLands. Day Two.

Madness received far fewer calls from the MadLands on day two. Madness has deduced the reasoning for this in two parts.
First.. Big Brother was not home. Big Brother spent the night at a friends house. You see.. when Big Brother and Teenage Daughter were running the show on Day One .. there was what we call a Power Struggle. Too many chiefs .. er.. too many indians too, apparently. Big Brother removed .. One Chief left.. no power struggle.
Secondly.. Madness Teenage Daughter had been grounded a few weeks ago. Not just grounded.. oh no. GROUNDED. Madness imposed this exact sentence on Teenage Daughter: Grounded Until Christ Rises Again.

So.. the sucess of Summer Vacation at the MadLands. Day Two could also be contributed to the fact that Madness bribed compromised with Teenage Daughter. "I'll let you do something with your friends this weekend if you keep things under control around here." Deal.

Madness started to count the days till the kids go back to school but decided that she could very well land right back in the mental institution if she did that..so she didnt.
Ahh yes.. Summer Vacation. Working Parents.. how do YOU survive summer vacation with your house, mind, grocery budget and JOB still intact? Madness needs hope ideas.

Stay tuned while Madness makes more lists.

~~MadStory Time ~ Beowulf~~

2008-05-30T09:27:00.001-04:00

A MadLands Original
Mad StoryTime
BEOWULF

Beowulf is the story of Beowulf. The End.
No, really...

The story of Beowolf begins in a brothel .. only in Denmark back then they called it a Mead Hall .. but never fear .. theres plenty of drinking and singing and shagging goin' on. So, apparently the singing and drunkeness goin on in Heorot (thats the mead hall) ticks off this beastly creature, Grendel.

Allow Madness to digress. We've got the King and the Queen, right. Well, the King is a drunken nasty bastard ... and he has this golden horn lookin thing and apparently this horn thing is special.

So anyway, the King has no children...except one... but he doesnt count, because he's a nasty freakish monster. MmmHmm. Mr drunken nasty bastard King man apparently got Angelina Jolies goodies and knocked her up..only it wasnt Angelina Jolie .. it was some shape shifter sort of character so the 'baby' was.. you guessed it .. a nasty freakish monster. Grendel.

Ok, so.. apparently the singing and drunkeness goin on in the brothel ticks off Grendel ... so he comes in and goes nuts. Kills a bunch of brothel-goers and damn near steps on and squooshes the Queen, who in this particular story is actually a good girl, no wickedness here. Just when you think Grendels gonna take the Queen out like a grape on a grocery store floor..the drunken nasty bastard King wobbles over and challenges Grendel to "Fight Me!.. Figght Me!" .. but Grendel DOESNT .. he runs home to his lair where momma (Angelina Jolie) is waiting for him. Momma tells Grendel that he needs to stop snacking on humans but Grendel isnt hearing it because, well, apparently we are all kinds of tasty.

Enter Beowulf. Beowulf shows up and meets Mr drunken nasty bastard King man on shore and declares "I am Beowulf and I am here to kill your monster" .. only he says "Muun-steh" and that made Madness giggle.

So Beowulf and his boyz post up in the brothel and then Beowulf decides he will fight Grendel nekkid. MmmHmm .. nekkid. Only dont get too excited, member Beowulf is all digitally animated or whatever.. but still ... nekkid. Beowulf says "Grendel fights with no weapon, Beowulf will fight with no weapon" or something like that. You get the idea.

Sure enough.. Grendel shows up..and Nekkid Beowulf kicks his butt. Grendel ends up with his left wrist bound by a huge chain and gets his arm caught in the door as he tries to run like a bitch. Beowulf slams the door on his arm over and over and over and its all so cool cause he's shouting "I am the Ripper..Tearer..Slasher..Gouger. I am the Teeth in the Darkness, the Talons in the Night. Mine is strength..and Lust.. and Power. I am BEOWULF" .. and Madness shuddered and sqealed and begged MaxX to "play it again! play it again!!"

So Grendel runs his punk one armed ass home and dies .. but not before he tells Momma who did it.. of course.

So now Momma is pissed..cause thats what mommas DO when their babies get hurt.. they get cray-zay. So Momma slinks over there to the brothel where Beowulf and his boyz are posted up and Momma makes an example of Beowulfs boyz, while he is sleeping. He wakes up and finds every last one of his boyz dead and hung over the rafters like yesterdays laundry. And WOW, Madness didnt realize this was such an long story ... she thinks she has ADD or something.

Where were we? Oh yeah.. Madness er, Momma makin an example out of Beowulfs boyz. So, Beowulf goes over to have a word with Momma. And what happens next? Angelina Jolie pulls a Brangelina on him and is all "give me a son and I will give you eternal life blah blah blah..whatever" Remember that gold horn thingy that Mr drunken nasty bastard King man had? Well, he gave it to Beowulf and Beowulf took it with him when he went to have a word with Angelina.

There is probably more of a significance here than Madness is letting on.. but she probably wasnt paying much attention at that point because Madness trailed off a few times. Anyway.. Angelina/Momma tells Beowulf that as long as SHE has posession of the gold horn thingy that he will have the world in his hands, basically. So, they do the deed and Beowulf goes back and tells the peoples that he slew Momma.. liar liar pants on fire.

Blah Blah Blah... fast forward.. here comes Beowulfs SON.. oh yeah.. only BEOWULFS son is no punk ass bitch monster boy.. nuh-uh.. hes a gold dragon. And of course Beowulf kills him. Blah Blah. So, by now Madness has had *plenty* of wine and while she remembers a significant "Boo-yaw" part of this story..she isnt sure if she's got this in the right order... but eh.. whatever.

So.. remember Angelina Momma told Beowulf that as long as SHE posessed the gold horn thingy he'd be all BradPitt an'shit. Well, Angelina Momma is one slick sly bitch.. she sends the gold horn thingy BACK to Beowulf .. yep.. thats right.. "Deals OFF" she says.. and "I can *DO* that cause I just gave the gold horn thing BACK so now I dont have it!" Boo-yaw! Only Beowulf is no punk and he takes that gold horn thing right back to her and says "Like hell biatch"
And thats pretty much where Mandess recollection stops.

The End.

High

2008-05-28T15:58:00.000-04:00

Wordless Wednesday

2008-05-28T15:20:00.004-04:00

This is Madness and a younger sister. Younger by 9 years.
Im just sayin.

Need and to be Needed

2008-05-28T15:19:00.001-04:00

This is a story about needing someone and about being needed by someone.

Princess Brit and Sir Rotham were seperated today. [circumstance withheld] .. they were seperated today.

Brit was moved into her own sleeping quarters and Rotham was left alone in the deluxe apartment in the sky formerly shared kennel. Brit and Rotham whined and cried like brats for each other. Whined and cried each other to sleep in their own sleeping quarters.

At some point.. Princess Brittania Onasis climbed out of her kennel and back into the deluxe apartment in the sky formerly shared kennel.

This is remarkable and blog worthy because Princess BritBrit can barely see over the top of either kennel when shes on her tippy tippy hind legs.

But Princess BritBrit needed to be with Rotham, and Rotham was needed.

Congrats Bossys Son

2008-05-28T15:18:00.003-04:00

Madness hearts Bossy.

Bossys son is a high school graduate .. he earned early admission to Columbia University.

Madness wanted to say "Congrats Bossys Son" from the MadLands.

If you wanna go say "Congrats Bossys Son" click here and show The Bossys some love.
And if You're all .."Blahblah Bossy this and Blahblah Bossy that, Madness is always going on about Bossy".. the you really need to go over there and let Bossy have a word.

Madness promises not to say "I told you so" when you come back and You're all "Bossy is the Boss!"
I'll just say I know.

For those of you lunkheads who really seriously dont click on over there, this is the love Madness gave the Bossys:

Bossy,
You are absolutly stunning in this photo. Youve captured not only your beauty but the beauty that is the pride, love and adoration for the life you and Bossys Husband gave to this world.The life that you do by all rights, OWN.Dont let Bossys son forget this as he goes off to College.
Love you Bossy and Bossys Family,
Madness

Madness is always forgetting her manners.

Bossys Son,
Rock On Man.. Rock on.This is the culmination of so much hard work..but remember that this too is the beginning of everything that is to come.
Youve got this world in your hands.
Dont loose your grip on it. Its yours.

Madness Teenage Daughter tends to roll her eyes when her mother says these things to her.And Madness says "Daughter..Im Serious".And Madness Teenage Daughter knows.

Madness

Long Live Rock ~ Aerosmith ~ Scissors in MaxXs left eye

2008-05-28T15:17:00.006-04:00

MaxX almost got his left eye poked out over these photos. Madness wonders if she'll get traffic from stalkers potential subscribers who are searching Lisa Left Eye Lopez. We shall see.

Madness is sorry that the photos are so big .. but Madness is in no shape to be fucking around with editing and resizing right now.

Ahem.
Heres the other pic

MaxX said the crazy bitch woman in these photos didnt look like Madness (his wife of 16 years). In fact MaxX said that Madness looked like -name withheld- in these photos.

So Madness poked MaxX left eye out with scissors.

The End.

Ok, not really, but she threatened it.. and she meant it.

Point of these pics is .. Madness is rockin a kick ass t-shirt these days.. its black and saysLONG LIVE ROCK in hawt pink.

Even better is whats on the backside of Madness kick ass t-shirt. MmmHmm.

Aerosmith.

Because you were wondering.. you know you were..

2008-05-28T15:17:00.004-04:00

Madness knows you readers have been dying to know how her hair turned out. If you recall..Madness dyed her hair. Again.

Im gonna post a close up pic so you can see the color that really *is* in Madness hair. Then I'll post a pic of what it looks like with the real eye.

Do you see the red/burgandy tint? Hmm? Do you?
Heres what it looks like from any other angle imaginable.

Im just sayin.

In case you were wondering.. yeah.. Madness use to actually have a hawt pink extention in her hair. (yes, Madness knows you can barely see it in this pic.. and Madness knows that she looks blue in this pic.. but oh.well. Madness isnt fuckin with editing it anymore right now.)

Madness has decided that shes been full.of.herself. enough for one night.

when He speaks they shall listen ... learn .. and love

2008-05-28T15:16:00.003-04:00

MaxX has arrived in the MadLands .. hop over there and have a peek .. you wont be disappointed.
Right HERE is where you hear Madness' mad cry of desparation because she just LOST everything she worked on for the last hour. Which is probably good for you constant reader (how pompus of you Madness..Stephen, my apologies).. good for you Internet because now youre going to get the shortened version. Or maybe not.
Madness wrote yesterday about NASAs Big Day. The folks down in Flah-rida are uber excited this morning because later today the Mars Phoenix Lander is landing on Mars. Theyre bein all dramatic an'shit referring to the landing as "7 Minutes of Terror" .. seriously. I guess if I were one of those thinker-uppers down there at NASA .. Id be feeling uncomfortable jelly like sensations in the core of my being too. So ok.. Madness will digress .. they're not being all dramatic an'shit. 7 Minutes of Terror is appropriate.
When Madness posted about NASAs 7 Minutes of Terror, she failed to give proper.. uh.. props where due. Membah' Madness telling you how MaxX is a fascinating writer and story teller. Contained within MaxX are the infinite depths of creation and wonder.. and remember how Madness has been tellin MaxX for 16 years that he needs to write that shit down .. well.. MaxX wasnt writin shit down about certain things.. so Madness did.
Madness concedes that she did a metiocre job of sharing MaxXs Martian TinkerToy Therom.
This is a ding-ding-light-bulb example of why MaxX needs to tell ya'll this shit himself.
If ya'll got a chuckle out of Madness little quip posting on the Martian TinkerToy Therom.. then you should go over and ask MaxX to tell you himself. Madness promises she wont laugh at you when you piss your pants.
Yes I will.

Hip to be Square

2008-05-28T15:16:00.001-04:00

This post is from MightyGirls blog. Madness liked it so much she decided to link to it. Click here and watch.
Madness smiled...and at this moment in time..making Madness smile is nothing short of a miracle.

Mars Phoenix Lander - MaxXs Martian TinkerToy Therom

2008-05-28T15:15:00.002-04:00

So.. NASA is sent up the Mars Phoenix Lander .. and its scheduled to land on Mars Sunday.

Ya'll remember all those other contraptions NASA sent up to Mars that disappeared..
NASA fact: Historically, 55 percent of all Mars missions have ended in failure.
Madness isnt passing judgement or criticizing NASA. Oh no. Far from it. Madness grew up in Florida.. directly across the Indian River from NASA. Madness hearts NASA because its a part of her history an'that.
All Madness is sayin is ... NASA keeps throwing these fancy schmancy science things at Mars.. and them Martians are catchin em and tossin em in their toy box and they're all "Thanks for the TINKER TOYS Earthlings!"

Hairy What? and other Random Mad Ramblings

2008-05-28T15:15:00.001-04:00

So, while we are all on this hairy body part kick... Madness was going to post a pic of her one single solitary abnormally LONG arm hair... conveniently located just above her right elbow.. in her direct line of sight from any angle.
Alas.. Madness family thinks that the two sets of digital camera batteries she bought for her digital camera belong to anybody BUT Madness. Madness grabbed her camera on her way out the door to work this morning.. and promptly discovered after her arrival that her batteries are gone. Again.
In case you were wondering.. Madness is extra special aggitated this morning for oh.so.many reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that her soft snuggly comfy friendly underwire in her favorite bra snapped yesterday.. so Madness is wearing the bra.of.satan today.
Madness Dad is having surgery today... Madness works for 20 surgeons and typically surgery doesnt tend to scare Madness. However.. Madness has a friend who has a son. Two weeks ago the son had "routine surgery" and four days later Madness was at his funeral. Madness is scared to death today.
Please stay tuned while Madness has a Word With God.

Crap Crap Crappity Crap

2008-05-28T15:14:00.003-04:00

Madness had a shit day online and off.

This morning Madness didnt have to be to work till 10:30. Last time Madness had a late morning she was unable to snuggle back into bed on account of a sick child.

Today Madness snuggled back into bed and the moment her eyes shut she heard this

MmmHmm. Madness back gate literally opens into the parking lot of the high school that sits behind her house. The students park at the far end of the lot.. so the band was rehearsing right under Madness bedroom window this morning.
They sounded great. Needless to say, Madness didnt get back to sleep. Oy Vey.

~~FAMOUS~~

2008-05-28T15:14:00.002-04:00

Madness is FAMOUS. MmmHmm.

A certain SarcasticMom Blogger who shall remain nameless .. linked to Madness today.

*sigh*

And ALL Madness had to do was ask to see a picture of her hairyarmpits! HA!

Desperately Seeking..

2008-05-28T15:12:00.004-04:00

Desperately Seeking Susan MaxX.
Every yesterday must come to its end ..
for even the cosmos has much more to lend.
If a hearts overcome with sadness at each passing..
then it shall have no idea of that which is blessing.
There should be no more fightat the dawn of each light
for then you forego all that might...

Youve traveled these plains with arms open wide
while your queen waited for your return to her side.
Our hearts that shared the same beat
now lie in shreads at our feet
You went in search of salvationand what did you meet?
Me..when I was sweet (evil evil Me)Oh what a treat*wink wink*

Only there is no treat and Madness doesnt feel like *wink wink*

Dad Update

2008-05-28T15:12:00.003-04:00

Dad had his chest and brain CT Scans yesterday. The results are in and they are all clear. Cause Madness had said to God "They BETTER be!"
Speaking of medical imaging...

Im just sayin.

Uh..we live in AMERICA..right? So, what gives?

2008-05-28T15:12:00.001-04:00

So I'm clickin around CNN.com .. cause thats what I do for a living.. and as usual Ive come across a story that makes me shake my head and go "Huh!? Come again!? What the HELL GIVES!?!?"
"Mom forced to sleep in car". Rotten economy, forclosures, unemployment, homelessness. The story is talking about the city of Santa Monica allowing homeless people and families to sleep in their vehicles in designated parking lots. And all Madness can think is "thats the BEST we can do!?!? Parking Lots!!?!?"

Stay tuned while Madness throws DARTS AT GEORGE DUBYAS HEAD!

..Funny.. not at all

2008-05-28T15:11:00.003-04:00

Madness doesnt see whats so funny or even what should be taken so light heartedly about someone who is like this

who needs some unknown magic combination of these

in order to have any hopes of living a normal life.

Breaking the Enigma Code was probably easier than determining what combination of drugs will work for an individual struggling with bipolar disorder. Yet this is just so funny to some folks...
Funny like this

Madness thinks she'll share her meds with anyone who thinks its their business to know wether shes taking her meds or not. Only Madness couldnt find a photo of a bitch being choked out...

So Stay Tuned.. while Madness goes and snaps her OWN photo.

Crazed Mad Woman 2 .. Stupid Idiots 0

2008-05-28T15:11:00.002-04:00

Madness witnessed another stupid idiot school zone speeder get the smack down by the po-po this morning. This morning was even BETTER because the po-po was just to the left of Madness when he turned his disco lights on and popped todays stupid idiot school zone speeder.

And Madness was all "WOOHOO!! YOU GET EM COPPER!!"

Why are the police suddenly out in full force in these particular school zones, you ask?

Barbara Jean no more .. or something

2008-05-28T15:09:00.002-04:00

Madness is dying her hair as we speak. Madness couldnt take looking like Barbara Jean for another minute... so Back to Red it is. Or something.First Madness had to strip the chocolate brown out. Madness did this using a product that she has used countless times never used before that her co-worker got from the beauty supply store.

This process consisted of Madness following the directions exactly not at all.

This should be interesting.

April March

2008-05-28T15:09:00.001-04:00

Madness didnt know it.. but April March is a person not a group. April March sings "Chick Habit" .. featured in Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof.

*awsome flick..check it out*

"Chick Habit" is a kick ass song. Hang up your chick habit..hang it up daddy.

Just Another MadnessMonday..or not.. either way

2008-05-28T15:08:00.000-04:00

*yawn* Mornin kids! Madness is back at work after a funfilled weekend. Took more pics at the football field yesterday.. this time the WHOLE FAMILY was there and we did kite flying, football throwing and more dismal attempts at leash training the twinnies.

Those pics are at home..so stay tuned for that later today.

In other news .. Madness saw a sight of GLORY this morning. Oh yes. Madness was driving to work and as she rounded the curve in the road that marks the beginning of the first school zone.. she saw DISCO LIGHTS. Oh yes. The police had a Stupid Idiot pulled over in front of the school...for speeding no doubt.
And Madness.. in her hungover heartbroken state (details withheld) said "YIPPEE" or "WooHoo" or "Woot!" (Im looking at you MaxX and I'm not smiling)
Madness overhauled her MySpace. Yeah Yeah Yeah.. it's pretty and happy and nice and its gonna stay that way. Madness is purging the BULLSHIT from her life..MARK HER WORDS.

Ever seen a Manic Meltdown? Stay tuned. Cause Madness is just.about.there.

Puppies and Babies make Madness a happy girl

2008-05-28T15:07:00.002-04:00

Rotham and Brits first trip to PetSmart. See.. Madness does too have a 13 year old daughter. Thats her in the cute silver vest and white stacked sandals up on the left. You wont see much of Madness oldest daughter..she curses Madness whenever her mother has the audacity of hope to take a photo of her. But never fear stalkers readers .. Madness doesnt care what her teenager says.. shes gonna take photos of her all.she.wants. CauseImThaMommaThatsWhy.

Even puppies get into politics. MaxX and Madness splained to the babies about the Blue Donkey and Red Elephants that make America who and what we are.. and the sociological and psychological phenomenon that it all is. And how fecking hot is Madness husband? Oh.hell.yes.

Two seconds later Brit bit the camera.. and licked it and pounced at/on it and became BFFs with it :)

This is Brit explaining to Rotham why he should get up and come play with her and Rotham saying "There is nothing you can do to get me up from this spot..so run along"...and he meant it.

After Madness and the little ones were done with their 400 yard sprint, photo session and dismal attempts at leash training two 4 week old adorable stubborn bullheaded whiny puppies.. Madness went to collect her twinnies puppies and found them sleeping in the middle of the football field like this ... YinYang Puppies

MaxX blessed the world with 3 sure bet running machines.. Helene Daniel and Devyn ... Taryn shows definate talent and promise ... Harold is more a football/wrestling kinda guy. Helene and Daniel are accomplished TrackSuperStars (as Madness calls em) .. and Devyn has shown consistantly impressive skill and form on the track over this last year. Today.. the moment Maddys feet hit the track she was in full on sprint..she ran the entire 400 yards and left her 10 year old brother a nd 8 year old sister in.her.dust.

Madness gave Harold Taryn and Maddy photography lessons..which consisted of .. put this strap around your wrist, hold this button till it clicks and flashes.

This photo was taken by MasterPhotographer Harold B Dowls III. The boy has talent. T&D snapped some awsome photos too and once Madness gets those phtoshopped and edited downloaded.. she'll post em.

**Well lookie there .. Madness is still up so she has more photos, taken by Taryn Devyn and Harold, to share. Yay Madness. For those of you who arent interested..come back another time. Those of you who are interested.. I hope you've enjoyed this post .. Im looking at you friend.

No, Madness doesnt have grey hair..Madness has roots that she hasnt decided what color to make em next. But she's pretty sure it isnt gonna be Barbara Jean Chocolate Brown again.

Madness, Taryn, Devyn and Princess BritBrit Onasis. Taryns soul just finds you. I know.

Madness calls this one " ... A Classic" .. Devyn being over dramatic over some grave injustice. Broadway..here she comes.

And Madness required electro-shock treatment after she looked at this photo and saw Barbara Jean staring back at her.

Stay tuned while Madness goes and ... and ... and ... Madness doesnt know what to do about that.

DrunkDialing has NOTHING on DrunkMySpaceMessageReplying

2008-05-28T15:06:00.000-04:00

Madness has several friends on MySpace whom she actually knows in "real life" (whatever the Hell "real life" is anymore) Madness purged most of her MySpace addiction usage several weeks ago. Madness declared "done with MySpace ... gone daddy gone ..."

Madness only has 2 reaons why her MySpace account still exists. MaxX and DJP. (Madness didnt link to DJPs MySpace on account of he has his shit private and Madness respects that. If youre one of my peeps on my MySpace you can go take a look at his pic on my page).

MaxX is, well, you know who MaxX is..I hope by now. No? MaxX is the love of my life. My husband.. the father of my 3 daughters and 2 sons. We have 16 years together, MaxX and Me. 16 years, no joke. Madness knows a few things fo'sho...
1)MaxX and Madness love each other past all revelations ...
and
2)Madness will not squander another day doubting this love for and life with MaxX and our family.. Helene, Daniel, Harold, Taryn and Devyn..I'm looking at you.
So, thats MaxX.

DJP is Madness big brother. THE big brother. Remember Madness was adopted by her cousins when she was 4. Madness has a big brother..we had the same "mom" and "dad". When we were seperated and adopted Madness was 4, DJP was 6. Madness and DJPs cousins adopted Madness, DJP was adopted by close friends of our cousins..living in the same small Florida town..on the other side of the golf course. We were seperated, but were kept together as closely as possible.

Ok, thats deep enough for now.. point is... DJP is Madness brother... and seeing her brothers pic on her MySpace once or twice a day is all she has left of her brother and she is hanging on to it for dear life.

Ok... so.. Madness isnt spending much time on MySpace these days.. consequently Madness is making her 'real life' friends think she's being boo-jie. MmmHmm.
So, tonight is Friday, and Madness had a VERY LONG and EMOTIONALLY MURDEROUS day .. so she had a few glasses of weekend wine. *wink at Bossy* So Madness decided to catch up on MySpace Message Replies.

And when Madness has a few glasses of weekend wine .. her replies closely resemble drunk dialing.
Heres a sample:

Hey girl .. First off I *must* apologize for being a sucky ass myspace friend..i promise im not being 'funny' or ignoring you.. i literally check this thing before i have to work in the morning.. i get on.. read whatever is new and fly out the door and make it to work by the skin of my teeth. just no time to reply or leave comments. they blocked myspace at work so i cant do shit from there. by the time i get home at night i check it for a minute, read whats new, maybe change my pic if i'm not liking the old one anymore, and then log off and get as far away from the computer as possible..or go write on my blog and read my blogroll.i'm just not into myspace at all anymore. id have deleted it a long time ago if MaxX wasnt still all into it.anyway.. my number is 555-5555 (cell).. i wont even bother giving you the home number.. you have a teenager/middle schooler.. you know how it is, the kids now own the home phone. i dont answer it, i dont use it.yes, we must get together. now that spring has sprung we can all come out of hiding.we should go to the park, maybe BBQ some shit up. Helene and Daniel and Harold and Kyle can play BBall an'shit. Taryn Devyn and your little one can play on the swings an'shit. Grown ups can sip on a little somethin and put some viddles down. Actually.. [*this section omitted because Madness said so*] ok.. I'm drinkin and kinda loopy..i'll be off now.. get at me.. loard knows i'm never doin anything on the weekend.peace!Oh! Wait! Helene tells me the other day about this boy who she is "bff's" with. His name is KYLE and his mom babysat us or something.I said Kyle *smith! Uh, yeah..and she says "oh yeah, me and Kyle go WAY back"I told her I have pics of the two of them when they were babies..she's super excited.ok..nite.

DrunkMySpaceMessageReplying. MmmHmm.

Madness

As they say at the Casino "and the Lady gets paid"

NEW READERS STOP HERE

Where Typhoid Suzie is actually Lotus Carroll

why Madness has changed her jammies TWICE in less than 30 minutes

Good Shit

Tits List

Tag Madness is IT

I can has Readers?

where Madness becomes HATED around the office with a single click of the mouse

Welcome to this edition of "This cant possibly be happening .. again"

SneakPeek ~ MaxX and Madness ~ The Weekend Edition

Babies falling from the sky .. or out of vaginas .. or whatever .. and a BitchSlap thrown in for good measure

Where Madness takes a moment before she has a word .. for once

WhatToDoToDieToday

You Didnt See the IRONY Before You Clicked Send !?!

YuckMouth

Not Last Night but the Night Before

Madness hearts MadOlympic Moments

SMILE NICE DAMMIT !!!

Because Bossy is the Boss like that

Yes'sir Thems Ma'Babies

They are SORRY!?!

Madness knows it sucks ... she knows

FunkeeMunkee

GoodTimes

Madness is Gonna Get Dooced .. so she's gonna LAY OFF OF IT for a while from work .. k?

The MadLands are being overhauled .. stay tuned!

~ Something is Stirring ~

because Thats How I Roll

Never Fear Constant Reader ~ Stephen is gonna sue Madness

Madness wants her ticket OUT of the Twilight Zone, K?

BritBrit Onasis

PuppyUpdate V .. VI .. ?? aka .. Madness cant see straight anymore ..

PuppyUpdate IV

PuppyUpdate III

Puppy Update II

Puppy Update

Standing Vigil .. ok .. not that serious ... yet.

Why Madness has a Lump on her Head

because Madness does NOTHING right ...

The Money Shot

Because Madness and Dooce are like *this*

Grease is the word ...

Im just saying

Madness Hearts Lurking Readers

HolyMadCrap

MadSecrets

Madness momma ...

About that...

Time

MadStoryTime

.. thats why my .... wants to ...

WahWahWah

Madness Breakin It Down

SundaySecret ~ and a little something extra

~ Daddy'oh Day ~

By Populer Demand ... yes HUH!

F I R E

Packin it up and Movin it down ... all the way down

Hellooooo Stalkers

BingePurge

Oh'Bama

Big Things

Oh look! Its my blog

Whose yer Daddy?

Cause thats how Madness does shit sometimes

Wordless Wednesday on Thursday

a terrible thirst for blame

things that make Madness go .. oh my.

MadDictation

Its quiet around the MadLands

Happy Birthday MaxX

Hey Ya'll

Dooce? Are you reading? Hmmm... Are you?

dont let yourself be annoyed or bored with Hillary and OBama

Madness defined

Just one week into summer vacation and already the idea of spending 300 days alone on an island sounds heavenly.

~*~MadStory Time ~ Beowulf~*~

High

Because Madness and Dooce are like this

~~MadStory Time ~ Beowulf~~

~~FAMOUS~~